The needs and values list has turned into one of the greatest tools I have worked with people on. There are several versions that can be found across the internet and in various books, but this one has become my favorite.
Here is how I utilize this list:
- Run through the list and underline the ones that strike you as important to you.
- Go through the ones you underlined and circle your top 10.
- Finally, go through your top 10 and put a star next to your top 3.
Very often conflict happens or we find ourselves agitated or depressed when what we need or value is not being met or is being violated.
This exercise can help you uncover what often is dormant in our subconscious.
What we need and value shifts through our life. I find it useful to run through this exercise myself every year or so, as well as when I am facing or have undergone major life events.
Finally, in my own words, the first column is what we need/value for ourselves, the second column is what we need/value in our relationships, and the third column is what we need/value from the world around us and to express into the world around us.
Following on the heels of the needs and values work, this list of feelings and emotions assists in putting the right words to what someone is experiencing. Putting words to someone's internal sensations can assist them as well as assist in conversations with others and conflict resolution.
Feelings and emotions cover the intangible, inner sensations we experience. Meanwhile, these bodily sensations let us find words for what is happening to us physically. Again, putting words to things can not only help the one experiencing the sensations, but helpfully assists in conveying those sensations to others.